Bathrooms
by Hasty Hastings
Summary: Quinn's never really enjoyed her bathroom experiences. Spans from "Pilot" to Drizzle's birth.


August 30th 2009 2:56pm.

Quinn Fabray shut her locker in an act of desperation against Finn Hudson. She eyed him as he strutted down the hall with Rachel Berry, whom she dubbed "Man-Hands". She mentally slapped her face and wondered why she gave her dim-witted boy toy permission to 'hang' with the transvestite to practice for the newly brought-to-surface glee club. Social suicide. "Finn *would* accidentally end up in that loser brigade." Quinn privately thought to herself. She hastily spun around and skipped to the nearest ladies room.

As she was flushing the toilet with her pasty white cheerios sneaker, a pair of hazel eyes peeked at her from under the stall door. She gasped and quickly closed her legs in position to take charge and poke his eyes out with her pen. "Noah Puckerman! What the *hell* are you doing? We have cameras in this bathroom, you know!" She hissed with a slight smirk. "Sorry baby, how do you think I fulfill my man-needs on Mondays? I'm in charge of my sister's play group today. I can't do anything after 5:00." Puck laughed. "Well, that's just too bad for you. I have cheerios practice in 15 minutes and I would really love to be there now." She said as she made an attempt to open the stall door.

Quinn was lying when she told Puck she had Cheerios practice. Practices were Wednesdays and Thursdays. It was a Monday. "Ah, c'mon Quinn. We both know you want it bad!" Puck teased swiftly sliding up and unlocking the door, letting Quinn free of the toilet's germy chamber. "In your dreams, Jew boy!" She complained.

Quinn eventually pushed past Puck and was close to escaping until he leapt to the girls room door. "My house or your church?" He asked with a sly grin. She secretly did want Puck. But being her faithful self, she quickly thought of Finn and denied that feeling every way possible. "I'm going to the weight room now, Puck. You're going to have to find some other girl to 'help' you." She explained, making little eye contact.

Quinn was actually going to the weight room to relieve the bloaty feeling she'd had since the night before. "I won't rape you. I know you want me. We can make it slow or we can do it here in the bathroom." He laughed.

Quinn did want to know what it'd feel like to strattle a boy over a toilet.

Puck on the other hand was jealous that Finn had kept his girlfriend over the summer. As for himself, he had 'a bad credit score' and was dumped for it just last Thursday by Santana Lopez. "I'd be happy to keep you company until Sara gets home. That'd mean no sex. No making out. And no telling Finn." She flirted. She really did want to get with Puck. Just, not at 17. "That sounds like a reasonable deal. My house. Say...3:45? I'll make snacks." He return the bargain with a wink and access to the world outside the bathroom. Quinn ruffled the fluffy brownish-black Mohawk and skipped to her car.

August 30th 3:38pm

"You're early." Puck suggested. He opened the front door to his mom's ranch. "As always!" Quinn winked.

She set her backpack down on the recliner and skimmed the pictures on the decorated mantle. She observed the pictures. One of Noah, Sara, and their mom, Shoshanna. There was also one of Puck and Sara with their rabbi. Puck looked good in his cherry red yamaka. Sara was in a matching red jumper. Puck looked to be 13 or so. Sara looked around four. "Bar mitzvah, birthday party, and family picture." Puck kindly explained as he handed Quinn a glass of pinkish liquid and ice cubes. "What is this?" Quinn asked staring at the cocktail and holding back her gag. "Oh, um. Something my aunt gave my mom the Passover after my dad left us. I drink it sometimes. She doesn't notice it's gone anymore. She's hardly noticed anything since he left." Puck explained, thoroughly. "It's delicious!" Quinn snorted, after taking a few more large sips. "Glad you like it." Puck smiled. "Wanna go out to the patio? I've got a killer sprinkler system." Puck suggested as he lured her to the door. "Absolutely! Can I bring this?" Quinn pointed to her refreshment. "'Course babe!" Puck winked as he opened the door for her.

Quinn was excited to be hanging out with him. Finn gets boring after a while. "What should we do now?" Quinn asked with an eager tone. She was hammered drunk for her size and age. Drinking was new to her. That wine cooler had done things to her. She loved it. She was hooked. She waited for Puck to offer her more magic from the pitcher. "We could make out. Maybe afterwards we'll drink more."

Puck was sure of himself. He was also sure the wine coolers had gotten to her. Puck wasn't worried. He'd get her to give him her all, and then send her running back to Finn quick as lightening. It wasn't raping if she did it first. He wasn't thinking of any consequences. He just wanted to rip her booty shorts off her bony ass and peek at her bra. "Sounds like a plan!" Quinn smiled seductively. "C'mere baby. Hop on my lap." Puck suggested as he sank into his lawn chair. At that moment, Quinn fell into a trans. Puck followed her into her trans and did as she said. Whatever was more comfortable for his current woman, he was up for it all. When it was all over, the minor amount of alcohol drifted out of Quinn's system and she grabbed her books and left in complete regret and embarrassment.

September 18th 2009 9:35am.

"Quinn, honeybee, Brittany's here. It's time for you to leave for school!" Russell Fabray giddily called up to his beloved last- born. "This can't be happening!" Quinn choked out, tossing the two positive EPTs into her cheer duffle. She trotted down the stairs and quaintly pecked an expecting Russell on the cheek, like every morning, and led Brittany to her tiny car.

September 18th 12:52pm.

"Quinn! Talk to me, you can't keep giving me the silent treatment like this!" Finn called out. Quinn shut her locker, once again, and turned around trying ignore her clueless boyfriend who was racing behind her. "I'm pregnant." was all that she could reveal from her tongue and teeth once Finn had caught up to her.

She lied when he asked if the baby was his. She lied when he asked how the baby was conceived. She lied when she told him how it was possible to make love in boiling water with only tight spanx-like material covering their individual baby making machinery. "…Hot tubs are the perfect temperature for sperm. It helps it swim faster? Or something…" She lied as she spoke. She'd never gone to her health teacher for advice, consent, or anything. She was simply thinking back to the time in fifth grade when they showed that womanhood/sex video because Santana Lopez had gotten her period earlier than needed.

September 18th 1:04pm

When Puck confronted her, she tried to make it clear she wasn't lying. She tried to make it clear she wasn't interested. She made it clear it wasn't going to be his. Ever.

"You're a Lima Loser, and you'll always be a Lima Loser." She whispered as she fought back tears, and the strong urge to kick Noah Puckerman is his /Holy Land'.

She cried the whole way back down the hallway, to her car, and home. She cried until 5:00 when her father walked through the threshold of the Ohio mansion they shared with her mother, and his wife, Judy. And at 5:26, Quinn, as always, pecked Russell on the cheek and sprinted out the door with her uniform on tight, pompoms in hand.

September 18th 7:34.

Noah Puckerman danced his way into the goal-line with pride and victory. He'd won the football game, with the help of Beyoncè, of course. The joy didn't last long though. It only took one glance at Quinn and Finn's victory make-out session. Noah Puckerman instantly became depressed. He walked to the showers, packed his football duffle, and made his way back home to sulk around while Sara was at a sleepover an his mom worked the graveyard shift at the hospital.

September 18th 11:58pm.

Noah Puckerman burned the ungodly lawn chair. The only thing in his possession that connected him with one Quinn Fabray. He let a few tears escape his self. For her, and it.

While he was burning his fears, Quinn Fabray locked herself in Santana Lopez's bathroom and cried. She didn't want to celebrate McKinley's big win while another person was residing inside her. She didn't want to celebrate anything at all. She cried until she couldn't cry at all. She sobbed and whaled. She denied pity from Brittany or Lauren, Megan, Elyse, Kori, or any of the other Cheerios. Quinn didn't want to do anything at all, but sit in the bathroom, texting Finn, crying on the cheetah skin rug that consumed the bathroom's floor.

May 31st. 2010 3:56pm

A good 8 ½ months later, Quinn winced at the pain of her abdomen. Her baby was coming, and she was sure she was alone. She, unable to move, waited in the stall in the bathroom of Callahan's Diner. She was sure it was happening. She was waiting until the moment, when the white light of God's sacred welcoming would tear through the diner's roof, and when she would drift into heaven with no pain ensuing her body anymore. She tried to fight off the screams that escaped her mind. But, with failure, her lips, too sof, her soul to bent, she screamed. Her screams resonated off of the bathroom walls. Minutes before she was going to give up, she saw those familiar hazel eyes pondering above her stall. None other than Noah Puckerman, busboy in shining armor, smashed the lock on Quinn's stall. "Babe, what are you doing?" He panicked. "Oh. You know, just having our daughter. No big deal, I'll be out in five!" She spat with anger and tiredness. She clung to the metal bar on the wall as another contraction shot through her back, pelvis, and every other body part she was still capable of feeling. "You're not giving birth in a bathroom. We've gotta get to the hospital." He smiled. He scooped her up, and carried her out of the bathroom. He laid her on a pile of towels in the hot bed of his pickup and drove just across the street to Lima Memorial Hospital and Medical Centre.

May 31st. 2010 5:13pm

Alexandria Asher Puckerman opened her mouth and cried for the first time. Quinn Fabray, warm with sweat and tears, let out a gasp for air and a smile. Noah Puckerman let out a sigh and a tear as he let the nurse slide the bundle of human and matted blankets into his muscular, eager arms. "Hey beautiful. I'm your daddy! Can you say 'Dadda'? Daaaaada?" Puck cooed. "She just learned she's got a mouth, Noah. Give it time..." Quinn softly sang from her bed. "Okay, fine." Puck smiled, never letting his eyes drift from Charlotte's gaze. When Quinn held her for the first real time 45 minutes later, the picked a name. "I want a biblical first name." Quinn argued with Noah, who demanded to put some evidence that his daughter was, infact, jewish. "What was your choice?" He reasoned. "Alexandria. It's the cutest bible name I could find." She smiled. "Okay. Well, what about Alexandria Asher?" He suggested. "Hmmm. I like it, but what does Asher even mean?" She challenged. "Blessed." He replied looking back and forth from Lexi to Quinn. "That actually sounds appropriate. What do you think Lexi?" She asked the baby.

From that moment, their baby girl was Alexandria "Lexi" Asher Puckerman, without question from the cooing baby.

June 5th. 2010 11:17pm.

At Lima Courthouse, Quinn, Puck, and Lexi became a family. With Brittany as a witness, they united themselves into one small family.

Noah Puckerman loved his women. Quinn Fabray-Puckerman loved her baby. She also loved the man who stood before her. The man who was there when she was at the tip of her cliff, and close to death.

Bathrooms were so-so for Quinn. She had a lot of bad luck in them, and made suckish decisions inside them. That was only the past.

"Bathrooms are good for me." Quinn explained to Brittany. "I've had good luck in them, and I'm always saved from bad situations inside them." She quickly glanced at Puck who was playing with Lexi in the stroller. "Noah loves bathrooms. He loves bathrooms because, in any trip he's made to them, he's saved a life, or he's made one. It always pays off in the long run." Quinn sighed.

Bathrooms were places where their story started. Stories that never fail to end.

Thanks for reading! I got this idea in the stall of a McDonalds somewhere in northern Florida. I don't hate Finn and Rachel, I'm just trying to capture Quinn and Puck's characters. I also love Artie and Tina. And Matt and Mercedes. Haha! Bathrooms are good places and bad places. Thank you.


End file.
